Literary Listings: 4 Books I Pretend I’ve Read But Really Haven’t

So, some people have asked as to whether they can do their own responses to the Bat-List-Crazy posts/topics, which I think is totally fine and gets me sort of excited :)!

If you want to do one, post it on any day that you like (Monday is when we do ours, and if you do it ahead of time we’ll link to your post so everyone can see the different responses!) but just link back to Bitches With Books or the original Bat-List-Crazy post topic you’ve meme’d.

So here we get on with it. I’m gonna start a series of embarrassing secrets. Not really but you’ll see a lot more confessional posts, consider this Real World: Bookish Edition or something like that.

8 Books I Pretend I’ve Read But Really Haven’t:

East of Eden by John Steinbeck

I mean, we’ve all done this right? Say we’ve read something or have the book on our shelves but haven’t actually read it. I know I tried to read this book, multiple times. Really I have, I made it as far as 127 before I gave up and sort of chucked it to the side.

I learned a lesson with this one: I bought it because I saw the Oprah’s book club sticker on it. Lesson? Don’t by books because Oprah says it’s cool, it doesn’t mean you’ll find it cool.

The Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien

OK- this one shames me the most. Please, I implore you, don’t judge me! I’ve read the other 2 in the series and The Hobbit and the Silmarillion. I LOVE Tolkien, I even dedicated an entire month’s worth of posts to him this past December! But… I must confess, I haven’t actually finished the series. There are a lot of songs and a lot of hard, twisty dialogue to get through. But I WILL trudge through it, it just might take me a bit longer than I imagined…

Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

This one might actually be a bit more shameful than my LOTR confession above. Why? Cause I was actually supposed to read this one. I had this for IB Year 1 Literature and I had to read it for my coursework. So, I did. Sort of. I got to page 46 and chucked it and did what every shameful, lazy student does: I googled the hell out of it. I passed my coursework but I’m still embarrassed to admit that I never finished it. It’s just so damn boring…

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

So this confession is a bigger one than you think: I really don’t like the classics. In fact, the only classic book I’ve read and didn’t fight through the entire thing was Jane Eyre (it was an IB Year 2 book and I couldn’t afford to chuck this one like I did Conrad’s book). I’ve tried to do the whole Bronte sisters thing, or the Austen thing. I just can’t get into them. Sorry.

Meh. We’ve all got our secrets right?



About Claire (BWB)

It's Claire (aka Quirky) from Bitches With Books, an online book blog that serves up a healthy dose of book reviews, lists + literary madness.
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13 Responses to Literary Listings: 4 Books I Pretend I’ve Read But Really Haven’t

  1. jonahkruvant says:

    Haha love this post, it’s a hilarious and awesome idea. I’m with you on Tolkien.

  2. Nafiza says:

    I have only read Heart of Darkness and that was for school. It was paaaainful but Tristam Shandy is way more painful. Avoid! I don’t mind classics – I just don’t like reading them. Much rather watch the movies. Haha.

  3. I have a policy when reading books. If I make three attempts at it and still can’t get through it, that’s it. I never made it through “The Lord of the Rings” (damn you, Tom Bombadil) and the only reason I made it through “Wuthering Heights” was through sheer bloody mindedness (and I don’t think I would have made it through, if I had read it now). Giving up on a book you don’t like is nothing to be ashamed of.


    • bwithbooks says:

      THat’s true, I just feel bad 😦 Like, I’m hurting it’s feelings you know? But I need to make that cut- to learn to do that- to give up on a crap book.

  4. trishhannon111 says:

    LOL, who hasn’t done this! I pretended to have read Catcher in the Rye and then had a very awkward ten minute conversation about it with my hairdresser once!
    Love Wuthering Heights though, honest!

  5. acps927 says:

    Heart of Darkness was such a bore! I read it for AP English my senior year and the only thing I can remember is a boat and a river. You may have learned more from Google than I did from actually reading it, ha ha.

  6. Pingback: Book Bloggery Week-in-Review (1) | Another Novel Read

  7. Kelley says:

    DUDE. I love this post! I love this idea and maybe I want to write one too!

    East of Eden. Ugh. This was my book club reading assignment for March. I confess: I read half of it and then read Cliffs notes for the other half. I pretty much hate that book.

    It’s good to know the songs persist throughout ALL of the Tolkien books, not just The Hobbit. Another confession? I skipped those damn songs. 😛

    Heart of Darkness is another book I despise. I actually forced myself to read the whole thing and regretted it. I’m thinking it’s just a guy thing. Every person who’s ever told me they love that book and I should read it? A guy. Shrug.

    I am SO right there with you on disliking classics. I mean, sorry, I just really don’t enjoy reading them and don’t see why they’re so great. DOUBLE SHRUG.

  8. zephyr says:

    Oh, I’ve stalled in Wuthering Heights myself. There’s just something about it that makes it just really, really difficult to read and I’m about a third to halfway through (it’s currently sitting on my nightstand unfinished and I couldn’t give any fucks about it) and I just can’t bring myself to finish it. It’s just awful and I hate it and every character in it with a fiery passion.

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